Clash of the Clowns

The third Republican presidential debate displayed deep party divisions, with candidates vying for attention through sharp policy assertions. Christie aimed to keep a low profile amidst Trump’s absence, while others, such as Haley and Ramaswamy, had heated confrontations. Disagreements on China, Ukraine, and energy policies were prominent. The general consensus suggests none of the candidates sufficiently demonstrated presidential qualifications.
Five people with colorful clown wigs and red noses, with the text 'Clown Show' above them.

The third Republican presidential debate turned out to be quite the cringe-fest, with candidates elbowing for the spotlight and throwing around big foreign policy statements. It kind of felt like that awkward moment in a high school hallway where everyone’s trying too hard to be noticed.

Post by Allan Warsing

Christie was playing it cool, trying to stay in the game without stirring up Trump’s anger, who decided to skip the debate and do his own thing at a rally. It was a bit odd since Christie’s usually the one calling Trump out, but this time he kept Trump’s name out of his mouth. He was playing the long game, trying not to sink his own ship in a sea of Trump supporters.

As for the effectiveness of Christie’s play-it-safe plan, well, it’s hard to tell if it’ll pay off given that he’s not exactly the favorite among the pro-Trump crowd. He’s trying to keep his head above water while polling at 2%.

I cannot stress enough that none of these people have any chance of being the US President. Even if Trump is in prison or dead from a fast-food heart attack, and the runway looks clear, this collection of simps might be the least likeable (R) crop in decades.

Haley and Ramaswamy had quite the showdown, with Haley often getting the better of Ramaswamy, who might have come off a bit too strong. He really likes to yell around. Not presidential material. Haley held her own, but it was all just for show on debate night, and didn’t really touch on the real issue people care about to support their lives and families.

When they did get around to talking about stuff that matters, like Ukraine, Haley, Christie, and Scott were on the same page about sending more support over there. They’re sticking to the old-school Republican playbook of backing conflicts overseas. But it’s tricky for them to cheer on a cause that Biden’s also throwing his support behind.

DeSantis and Haley didn’t see eye to eye on China, and their teams have been slinging mud back and forth in their ads, each claiming the other’s soft on China. The debate had them in a tit-for-tat that was hard to follow. And Vivek, well, he’s just intense — like, really intense. somehow, Vivek decided fossil fuel energy is the future. So, WTF?

Photo by Al Drago, Bloomberg

Drill. Frack. Burn Coal.

— Vivek Ramaswamy

The debate over China saw DeSantis and Haley at odds. DeSantis criticized Haley for her previous interactions with a Chinese firm, while Haley retorted, charging DeSantis with duplicity. Their exchange was a dizzying back-and-forth. Vivek really goes hard into all his points. His intensity is a bit frightening TBH.

Trump, doing his own thing at a rally, shrugged off the debate, hinting that rallying the crowd was the real battleground. His team called the debate a flop, a waste of everyone’s time and money.

Ronna McDaniel, the GOP chairwoman, doesn’t think Trump will bother with future debates. She figures a former president like him doesn’t need to prove anything in a debate to clinch the nomination again. But Governor DeSantis isn’t having it, saying Trump’s skipping out doesn’t square with his “America First” talk.

Here’s my hot take on each of the clowns candidates.

Tim Scott:
👉 Has a real girlfriend, not in Canada
👉 Supports a federal 15-week abortion ban
👉 Supports Israel bombing kids endlessly
👉 Wants economic growth (duh)
👉 Thinks tax massive cuts are A-OK
🫠 Might have mush for brains
🚫 Just quit

Ron DeSantis:
👉 Wants a “culture of life” or something
👉 Supports Israel bombing kids all day
👉 Rambled on about energy independence
👉 Said stuff about reducing gas prices
👉 Wants to “deal with” with China and Venezuela
👉 Crowd yells We Want Trump, he cries (inside)
0️⃣ Completely useless

Nikki Haley:
👉 Putin and Xi’s guy Vivek is doing great
👉 Supports Israel bombing children, a lot
👉 Will raise retirement age … tax cuts
👉 Is cool with any kind of abortion ban
🤦‍♀️ Great job marginalizing women in politics
💭 Entirely without substance

Chris Christie:
👉 Needs state decisions on abortion, NOW!
👉 Pretends to care about addiction issues
👉 Likes military upgrades, submarine fleet
👉 Wants old people to work forever … tax cuts
👉 Forgets the US is already energy independent
❓Only normie in the room
📉 Polling at 2%

Vivek Ramaswamy:
👉 Wants “sexual responsibility for men”
👉 Called for economic independence from China
👉 Opposed further aid to Ukraine
👉 Terrified of the US southern border
👉 Trashed talked Ukraine’s President Zelensky
🎯 Really hates everything about America
🥸 Putin stooge

In the end, the third GOP debate was a whirlwind of policy discussions, personal attacks, and political posturing. It was a night that further exposed the deep divisions within the party and showcased that none of the candidates are qualified to be president.

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